My heart is so sad that it has taken me days to be able to sit down and try to get out my feelings. There is no way to even try to understand how one person can do something that causes so much pain across a nation, across the whole world.
I read somewhere the other day that what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School was very sad, but definitely not the saddest thing that has happened in America. When I look at my sweet little boys, I could not disagree more. As a Mom and as a former 2nd Grade Teacher, for me Friday was the saddest day ever. I know that kids are safer at school than in a car. I know that kids are more likely to be struck by lightning than to be killed at school. I know all of these things. But to think that the target of one person's rage was specifically directed at the most innocent, beautiful members of society, our children, is the saddest thing I can imagine.
Every time I have tucked my boys into their cozy beds, I have prayed for those 20 families who have an empty bed in their house.
Every time I have placed a neatly wrapped gift under the Christmas tree, I have cried for those 20 families who have presents under their tree for their precious child who does not get to open them.
Every time I have made a school lunch, I have mourned those 20 empty lunch boxes.
Every time I have strapped my boys into their car seats, I have ached over those 20 car seats that no longer have a passenger in them.
And every time I have picked up my boys from school, I have sighed a breath of relief to see their smiling faces, and I have wiped away my tears for those 20 families who do not get to do that anymore.
Every minute of every day since Friday, I have ached for those 20 families, as well as the families of the adults. I cannot even begin to imagine the deep, dark hurt that they feel. And I cannot imagine moving on with life as normal in my home or on my blog without stopping to acknowledge them. My heart is broken for those families.
I am grateful beyond words to be "Mommy" to our four beautiful boys. I honestly never really felt like I had found my calling in life until the day that our 1st son was born. Every moment we have with our kids is a blessing, one that sadly can be taken from us at any time. To show my deep appreciation for these beautiful blessings that I have to enjoy, I am stepping away from my blog until after the holidays to soak up and enjoy every single moment that I am so grateful to have with our boys.
I wish you are very Merry Christmas- full of love, laughter, and appreciation for our most precious gifts. I know that my most precious gifts are not waiting for me under the Christmas tree. They are right in front of my eyes, and they are getting all of my time and attention this holiday season.